My sister and I had a long talk recently about seeing your children, the very physical idea that although we look at our kids all day long, we sometimes stop seeing them. I think a big problem I had with my attachment to Little Bug was that although my eyes would meet his, my mind was far away. I wasn't in the moment with him, and I think that although he got plenty of time looking into my eyes, what he probably saw was far away thoughts and not a mama's adoring love.
I've been really mindful of this lately. I make time each afternoon to gaze into my kid's eyes as we play on a bed or heap of pillows. I try to take a moment or two in the car after I buckle him in to look into his eyes and smile a really genuine smile. I make sure that I am talking to him, not at him.
I'm hoping to master this ability to see my child each day before Little Bro comes home. I want to be able to be more than just a mom for my children; I want to be a mom to them. I want Little Bug to know, even at his little toddler age, that what he has to say is important to me and that I love being in his presence.
It's not easy, especially when I am tired, bored, depressed, angry, busy, or any number of the other factors that shape my day. It's so much easier to look at him and talk at him without taking the time to shift my energy into him.
But he's the most important little person in my life, and I want him to grow up seeing that.
So very true. And very well said!
ReplyDeleteI sometimes find myself making grocery lists in my head, thinking about the chores that still need to get done, etc while playing with S. It's amazing how quickly you are snapped back to reality when you look at your child and he's waiting for you to come back to the moment. Sigh.
this is lovely. it's a good reminder for all of us.
ReplyDeleteI can really relate to this post. It's so well said. Xavier and I have better days when I know not only my gaze, but my energy is focused on him. It's so easy to get distracted with what's going on your mind.
ReplyDeleteYou are helping me be a better mother, once again. Because I know that I don't do this enough. But I don't realize it until I make a point to LOOK at my children. It's amazing how long you can go without doing this. Thank you for reminding me (again) why I should be doing this and the larger picture. It isn't getting the stuff done today. It's about being a mother to these children. And that is so much bigger than getting through the day.
ReplyDeleteso true, so true.
ReplyDeleteI needed this today...
ReplyDelete