Loved by Many

One of the phrases we always use for our letters to Little Bug is "Never doubt that you are loved by many." I'm positive it will go in every letter or card I ever write to him, and I will probably whisper it in his ear on his graduation day, his wedding day, and all the other wonderful days in his future.

It's become our subtle way of including his other families into our special moments and parental love, the reminder that his birth family and foster family are still in the world, actively loving him specifically. There is so much loss wrapped into our triad of families, but at the very root of it all, the reality is that our son has more people loving him with a passion only a father or mother could know than most people do.

And that's beautiful.

Right now, our family has a lot of contact with Little Bug's foster family. They are excellent people who love our son intensely. We bonded with them not only through our mutual love of Little Bug, but through a mutual fear of his special needs. In Korea, our social worker told us they were terribly nervous that we would be disappointed in Little Bug or not love him as much because he was so far delayed. When we started communicating after we returned from Korea, they told us the way we looked at him with such love despite his obvious delays gave them the comfort to let him go.

Since then, they've been they've been our partners in parental joy. They leave comments on our blog and send us e-mails cheering on his little victories and sending reminders of their love. They truly are members of our extended family forever.

Recently they left us a beautiful comment on one of our posts. It's been rolling around in my heart ever since, this beautiful other family who loves my son as a son. I know that somewhere my son's birth mother is loving him with a mother's love as well.

I'm not narrow minded enough to think Little Bug's adoption is just rainbows and pink hearts, because for each of these families to experience falling in love with Little Bug as a son, they also had to experience losing him. Little Bug, although the recipient of so much love, is also the victim twice over. I know that.

But it doesn't take away the fact that love is beautiful, and that being loved by as many as love Little Bug is a unique and special thing.