Even close to 2 years into this motherhood gig, I still have moments of ebbs and flows. Honestly, I have a lot of moments where I don't 100% love being a mom. For whatever reasons it might be at the time, sometimes it's hard for me to enjoy everything about the precious time I have with my son.For a variety of reasons, I've been thinking a lot about my post adoption depression lately and the impact it had on my attachment to Little Bug and his attachment to me. Over the past month or so, I've challenged myself to be less complacent with the relationship my son and I have, because when it comes right down to it, I wasn't 100% happy with where it was. I've been actively working on attachment games and activities. Even though we're well enough attached to each other already, I realized there is always room for improvement. Over the last 2 weeks, I have noticed a marked increase in the ease and physicality of our relationship.
And today it manifested in spades. Little Bug and I had a wonderful day filled with choo choos, animals, and more choo choos. All throughout the day we would turn to me and flash this radiant smile...not directed at whatever we were doing or seeing, but a smile clearly just for me. He would crawl on me and hug me for no reason. He spent nearly an hour dragging me from toy to toy, wanting only to play with me.
And better yet, I loved every second of it. It was hot, crowded, tiring, and done all without Appa, and I didn't look at the clock once. I enjoyed every moment of my role as mother today. That's been happening a lot lately, too.
Tomorrow might suck and I might want to tell my kid to "shut up" again, but those days will happen no matter what. I just don't want to forget today...ever.
I have been thinking the same things as the beginning of your post. I have been struggling to enjoy this time with my kids and not just survive each day and make it through the current stage. Thanks for the great reminder of what I should be striving for and what can be when we really want that relationship with our children and actively seek it. So glad you have a fabulous day. And not looking at the clock - awesome!
ReplyDeleteWow - did you write this post for me, because it feels like it?!?! At least recently, I have had that complacent feeling and this is a great reminder to take a more active role because it really does pay off. I have caught myself wondering what I going to with my son to to fill up the time, when actually I guess I shouldn't worry so much about that and just worry about enjoying the time we have.
ReplyDeleteLove that you had a great day, a wonderful mom and son day!
Oh, friend...what a great post. It's amazing how "tuned-in" to our energy our children are, isn't it? I'm so happy you had a great day!
ReplyDeleteWonderful post! I think we all need reminders to be in the moment and enjoy each second with our children, they are such a blessing. I've had days where I'm counting down the hours till bedtime, but it's posts like these that remind me to enjoy the time with my boy.
ReplyDeleteThis was so perfectly timed for me. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you're in a good streak and I hope it continues. I do the same thing and then I decide to just r-e-l-a-x and go with the G's flow, we BOTH have the best time.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like a great day! I need to do more of "enjoying the moment"... thanks for the reminder. I've been working actively on attachment also and it is great to see how far you and Little Bug have come. It gives me hope!
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