Daily Dose of Mama: Safe

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Safe

After some space from yesterday, I'm in a better place and not even really thinking about what is happening "behind the scenes." As I was rocking Little Bug to bed last night, I was thinking about how much we would lose if the worst were to happen, and I realized it was very little.

A significant amount of money, maybe. An entire year waiting, yes. An expected and anticipated family plan, sort of.

Little Bro, no.

The fact of the matter is, Little Bro is meant to come to our family in his own time. Perhaps that time is not now. If that is the case, I will have to accept that the factors that dictated that were what needed to happen for our family to form the way it was meant to. I won't like it, but I will accept it.

I also realized that the most important things in my life are not affected by this situation, either way it shakes out. Little Bug is still my son. Nothing in the world can take him from my arms. Nothing. Appa is still my husband and the father of my son. He will be my partner in replanning our family if it comes to that.

My family is safe. Little Bro and Little Sis are safe in my heart until the time is right.

With all that being said, my gut is telling me things will be okay. My gut is telling me Little Bro is almost ready to say hello. My gut is telling me things will work out for everyone. If it doesn't, it doesn't, but I think that it will.

7 comments:

everythingismeowsomeMarch 3, 2010 at 9:57 AM
You have the right attitude. It is also the only attitude that will keep you sane. Nobody can take away what you've got going right now....and what you've got going right now is awesome.
ReplyDelete
Replies
sueMarch 3, 2010 at 10:04 AM
you know, we feel peaceful too. because we are so far down the list, we are working on a back up plan, and i feel good about that. but you are right, our 2nd sons will come to us in the right time!
ReplyDelete
Replies
AnonymousMarch 3, 2010 at 11:42 AM
Wonderful perspective. I'm glad you found peace.
ReplyDelete
Replies
ChristineMarch 3, 2010 at 12:59 PM
That is so true. Little Bro will come when he is ready, from the right place. Agencies issues or other obstacles won't prevent that from happening. I'm glad you found peace in the situation.
ReplyDelete
Replies
KrisMarch 3, 2010 at 1:11 PM
You are so right. Little Bro is out there and when the time is right he will come to you. I still believe it's sooner than later.
ReplyDelete
Replies
JoJoMarch 4, 2010 at 6:42 AM
I'm glad you found a peaceful place with all this. Lil' bro and/or Lil' sis will come when they're ready.
ReplyDelete
Replies
Rach@In His HandsMarch 5, 2010 at 7:56 AM
So true. Beautifully said.
ReplyDelete
Replies

Add comment

Thanks for your daily dose of you....

Everyday Mama

I'm a 32-year-old everyday mama. My husband (Appa) and I adopted our first son Little Bug (at 10 months old) from Korea in September 2008. We adopted our second son, Little Bro, from Korea in April 2011 at age 21 months. We adopted our third son,Little Moon, at age 3 in November 2013. I've wanted to be a mama for a long time, but I'm still trying to figure out the reality of it all and take time to enjoy the delicate beauty of the highs and the lows.

I worked full time as an editor, which I loved; but I made the bittersweet decision to stay home with my children after Little Bro came home. I'm now clumsily finding my footing in a new world of housekeeping, menu planning, budgeting, cooking, cleaning, and rainy-day activities, as well as navigating the world of IEPs, parent advocacy, and special needs education (spoiler: I suck at house work). My husband is hot and smart and quiet and loyal, and I think (know) my sons are the cutest, happiest little boys in the world.

I also struggle at times with mild depression, anxiety, post-adoption depression, my husband's constant absence due to his stressful and super time-consuming job, the challenges of helping my older son with his sometimes exhausting special needs, and our transition to a family of three little boys with just 19 and 14 months between them. I worry way too much about what people think of me, hate talking on the phone, and I am trying to trust myself more.

Oh yeah, I'm unable to give birth to children; love books, writing, traveling, and the color brown; hate to clean, cook, craft, or do laundry; allergic to pretty much everything but food (thank God); and think camping in anything but a tent is lame.

I needed somewhere to drop my daily mama thoughts and musings on toddler poop to avoid massive clutter and ramblings on our private family blog. Writing it down on paper is so '90s.

This is my everyday "blournal" as I navigate through my life as a first-time (or is it third-time now?) mama and long-time me. So....hi.

You can contact me at daily.dose.of.mama (at) gmail.com.

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS COPYRIGHT PROTECTED.

As an editor, I deal with people on a regular basis who think images or content on the internet (whether it does or does not have a copyright designation) are "fair use." Your lesson for the day is that anything someone writes or creates that is published on the internet is copyright protected, whether he or she spells it out or not. Although I doubt anyone wants to steal my riveting posts on toddler poop, it doesn't hurt to educate the world about the wonderful magic of online copyright law.