"Just the Two of Us" is Not My Favorite Song

Oy, baby. Mama feels the same way.

This week has been a rough week for me fatigue-wise because of my virus. I've been super busy at work and just really burning at both ends. Friday I had my first Red Bull in 8 years...longer if you consider there was no vodka in it. It made me feel like I was on some great drug. I need to stay far away from that stuff going forward.

This week Little Bug started going through one heck of a growth spurt that significantly altered his mood (which is already manic as hell because he is 2), his eating (no 2-year-old should pack in 3 eggs, fruit, and cheese and ask for a 4th egg one breakfast and then toss the next morning's breakfast all over the floor in total disinterest), and his sleeping habits (switching from a good, deep sleeper to a drop of a hat light sleeper, can't be transferred from my arms to his bed, must sleep with me or won't sleep at all). He started throwing things, hitting, scratching, and biting. He has, at last count, 7 bruises and two cuts on his head from his midnight tantrums.

This week Appa was gone...ALL week. Granted, Appa travels almost weekly, but he has been on a local project since we hit "the 2s," and when he does travel, he is only gone for a few days during the week, not on the weekends.

I am proud to say that Little Bug and I made it to school and work mostly on time. We enjoyed some fun activities in the evenings and this weekend. My house is no worse than it was last week. I only ate one bag of jelly beans and 3 Cadbury Eggs. I did very much enjoy being with my son.

But it's been HARD.

I cannot imagine being a single parent (although I understand that my 6 days without my husband is really not anything compared to raising a child alone). I know some single parents, and although I might have admired them before, I am in downright awe of them now. Not only was I physically and emotional drained every day (and it became progressively worse as the week wore on), but by yesterday, I found my patience with Little Bug was down to zero. I wasn't able to take anything on the cuff . Case in point, during a lunchtime time out, he sat and chanted "no, no, no" while waving his finger at me. Yeah, he didn't learn that from Classical Baby....

Little Bug was in rare form these last few days, so I think even if Appa had been around, I still would have had to dig deep for the patience to get through it, but it makes me feel bad that I don't think I was as patient as I should have been with him this weekend. Sometimes when he would look at me with his mournful eyes after being scolded I just imagined him thinking "why don't you love me anymore, Mama?"

Oh, baby. I do love you. I just need to get better about showing it in the moments right after your throw our cordless phone at our big screen TV because I put up a baby gate or rip the hide out of your drum because I closed the blinds.

Appa is home now. He is going to take us out to dinner (doesn't know this yet) and give me a nice long massage. Tonight, when our kid's head starts spinning at approximately 1 am, he can deal with that, too.

I like it when it's just the three of us!