This won't hurt your ears

There are a few moments in Little Bug's journey that really stick with me.

I remember everything about the moment I first saw him scoot forward on the floor. You can barely watch the video because I am screaming praise so loud. He had been home for 2.5 months.

I remember the first moment I saw him crawl. Just two little "crawls," and he was panting like crazy at the end of it. You can barely watch the video because I am shaking so badly with excited laughter. He had been home 7 months.

I remember the moment he took his first steps, gangly and awkward, in the basement with his PT. There is no video, and even if there was, you wouldn't have heard a peep from me. I was speechless. He had been home 12.5 months.

I remember the day that he started taking 2-3 sorta-controlled steps. You can see the pride on both Little Bug and my faces as you watch the video, which you can actually watch because I was trying to decrease the level of my vocal vim. He had been home 13.5 months.

I remember yesterday when he suddenly decided to walk more than crawl. How his teachers met me at the door of his school nearly bursting to tell me how he barely crawled all day. How he smiled at me from a different room and then let go of his teacher's hand and walked to me.

10 steps. 20 steps. 30 steps. 40 steps. 50 steps.

How I wanted to cry and scream and cheer and find my camera and call Appa in that moment. How all I actually did was bend down and give him a big hug and whisper into his ear the things I wanted to tell him. How this was the moment that we went from taking a few steps to actually walking a percentage of the time...a percentage that will continue to grow, just as they always have. He has been home for 14.5 months.

I've felt very introspective this last week or so. Little Bug's strides have been hitting me hard. Not just because I am his mama and I love to see him progress, but I think because my heart and head knew that things were changing in our lives. Changes that in my darkest moments I wondered would ever come. Changes that would make that short list of "most memorable" moments for our whole family. Changes that will open up a whole new world to my son; a world of independence and pride and inclusion and normalcy. Changes that will prepare Little Bug to be a big brother.

I think I might have a few more good screams of joy left in me....