Daily Dose of Mama: I am the worst mama in the world

Friday, December 11, 2009

I am the worst mama in the world

Confession: About an hour ago I refused to allow my 2-year-old son to open his nursery door and walk on his merry way instead of putting on his jammies and going "night night."

His reaction (convulsions, screams of horror and excruciating pain, fury, despair, uncontrollable rage, etc.) made it clear to me that I was torturing him in the worst possible way. How could I?

Dear 3 years old, please come soon.

4 comments:

everythingismeowsomeDecember 12, 2009 at 7:47 AM
Ah yes...2 does really have its moments, doesn't it? But take heart, 3 is really heaven.
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KrisDecember 12, 2009 at 10:52 AM
Oh boy.
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NatalieDecember 13, 2009 at 9:59 PM
Maybe it will be better for you at 3, but I just spent an agonizing 45 minutes filled with crying, yelling for mom, threatening to turn off night lights, deep breathing, etc. trying to get my 4 1/2 year old to go to sleep. ;-) Most nights aren't so bad, but bedtime has definitely been one of our biggest ongoing struggles.
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Katie W.December 20, 2009 at 12:39 PM
I found 3 harder than 2, but 4... 4 has been the best yet! Wilson is only 4 for 4 more days, so I am hoping 5 is kind too.
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Thanks for your daily dose of you....

Everyday Mama

I'm a 32-year-old everyday mama. My husband (Appa) and I adopted our first son Little Bug (at 10 months old) from Korea in September 2008. We adopted our second son, Little Bro, from Korea in April 2011 at age 21 months. We adopted our third son,Little Moon, at age 3 in November 2013. I've wanted to be a mama for a long time, but I'm still trying to figure out the reality of it all and take time to enjoy the delicate beauty of the highs and the lows.

I worked full time as an editor, which I loved; but I made the bittersweet decision to stay home with my children after Little Bro came home. I'm now clumsily finding my footing in a new world of housekeeping, menu planning, budgeting, cooking, cleaning, and rainy-day activities, as well as navigating the world of IEPs, parent advocacy, and special needs education (spoiler: I suck at house work). My husband is hot and smart and quiet and loyal, and I think (know) my sons are the cutest, happiest little boys in the world.

I also struggle at times with mild depression, anxiety, post-adoption depression, my husband's constant absence due to his stressful and super time-consuming job, the challenges of helping my older son with his sometimes exhausting special needs, and our transition to a family of three little boys with just 19 and 14 months between them. I worry way too much about what people think of me, hate talking on the phone, and I am trying to trust myself more.

Oh yeah, I'm unable to give birth to children; love books, writing, traveling, and the color brown; hate to clean, cook, craft, or do laundry; allergic to pretty much everything but food (thank God); and think camping in anything but a tent is lame.

I needed somewhere to drop my daily mama thoughts and musings on toddler poop to avoid massive clutter and ramblings on our private family blog. Writing it down on paper is so '90s.

This is my everyday "blournal" as I navigate through my life as a first-time (or is it third-time now?) mama and long-time me. So....hi.

You can contact me at daily.dose.of.mama (at) gmail.com.

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As an editor, I deal with people on a regular basis who think images or content on the internet (whether it does or does not have a copyright designation) are "fair use." Your lesson for the day is that anything someone writes or creates that is published on the internet is copyright protected, whether he or she spells it out or not. Although I doubt anyone wants to steal my riveting posts on toddler poop, it doesn't hurt to educate the world about the wonderful magic of online copyright law.