Daily Dose of Mama: Still in Awe

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Still in Awe

Yesterday was not the best day of my life, and I was looking forward to sleeping the finals hours away as I dragged my body up the stairs late last night.

At the top of the stairs I noticed a thin ray of light from the nightlight seeping out from under Little Bug's door. A normal, every night occurrence.

And yet, the thought that ran through my mind in that moment was

Holy Cow, my baby is actually in that room sleeping. It really happened.

Among all the millions of things in my life to be grateful for, I am grateful for my not-always-rosy journey to motherhood that has instilled this sense of awe I still have when I sometimes look at my son (or his nursery door). I hope to never forget just what a miracle he is in my life.

2 comments:

kellyOctober 14, 2009 at 11:02 AM
What a total miracle, I agree. Always nice to have a reminder :)
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CindyOctober 21, 2009 at 12:54 PM
For us it has been three years and I still feel exactly that way. Every once in awhile that feeling just takes over...amazing!
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Thanks for your daily dose of you....

Everyday Mama

I'm a 32-year-old everyday mama. My husband (Appa) and I adopted our first son Little Bug (at 10 months old) from Korea in September 2008. We adopted our second son, Little Bro, from Korea in April 2011 at age 21 months. We adopted our third son,Little Moon, at age 3 in November 2013. I've wanted to be a mama for a long time, but I'm still trying to figure out the reality of it all and take time to enjoy the delicate beauty of the highs and the lows.

I worked full time as an editor, which I loved; but I made the bittersweet decision to stay home with my children after Little Bro came home. I'm now clumsily finding my footing in a new world of housekeeping, menu planning, budgeting, cooking, cleaning, and rainy-day activities, as well as navigating the world of IEPs, parent advocacy, and special needs education (spoiler: I suck at house work). My husband is hot and smart and quiet and loyal, and I think (know) my sons are the cutest, happiest little boys in the world.

I also struggle at times with mild depression, anxiety, post-adoption depression, my husband's constant absence due to his stressful and super time-consuming job, the challenges of helping my older son with his sometimes exhausting special needs, and our transition to a family of three little boys with just 19 and 14 months between them. I worry way too much about what people think of me, hate talking on the phone, and I am trying to trust myself more.

Oh yeah, I'm unable to give birth to children; love books, writing, traveling, and the color brown; hate to clean, cook, craft, or do laundry; allergic to pretty much everything but food (thank God); and think camping in anything but a tent is lame.

I needed somewhere to drop my daily mama thoughts and musings on toddler poop to avoid massive clutter and ramblings on our private family blog. Writing it down on paper is so '90s.

This is my everyday "blournal" as I navigate through my life as a first-time (or is it third-time now?) mama and long-time me. So....hi.

You can contact me at daily.dose.of.mama (at) gmail.com.

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS COPYRIGHT PROTECTED.

As an editor, I deal with people on a regular basis who think images or content on the internet (whether it does or does not have a copyright designation) are "fair use." Your lesson for the day is that anything someone writes or creates that is published on the internet is copyright protected, whether he or she spells it out or not. Although I doubt anyone wants to steal my riveting posts on toddler poop, it doesn't hurt to educate the world about the wonderful magic of online copyright law.