Written on March 29, 2010

Evan,

I don't remember the day I first saw your face. I truly wish I did. I vaguely remember it was late at night and your face was among many I saw...but yours was the one I came back to a number of times.

For months, when I would look at that list, I would always make sure to look at your picture. Sometimes I would go to the list just to look at your picture. There was something about your face that drew me in, fascinated me. Maybe it was your sweet lips or your chubby cheeks or perfect little ears. Maybe it was just that it was you...

For some reason, it never seemed to hit me that you could be a part of our family. You almost seemed unattainable, but that was just my fault for not listening to my heart sooner. I'm so sorry, baby boy.

Then today, while I was sitting at work, I got the sudden random urge to look at your picture. The minute I looked at it today I knew that I needed to do something. Immediately I felt like you were my son...I needed to protect you and take care of you and bring you home. I sent your picture to Appa with the short note that you had been on my mind for far too long and that I wanted to see if maybe we would be the parents you needed. From that moment on, my hand shook with nervous excitement and my face was set with a perma grin. It was so easy to imagine you as part of our family...I was shocked I had not realized it sooner.

This was not the journey we had to expected to take to get to you. But just like the pieces rearranged into place for our journey to your brother, so did the pieces rearrange to lead us to you. I'm humbled by the greater plan of it all.

At this moment, I am listening to your Appa and brother playing upstairs. I am dreaming about you joining us. To be honest, we've not even seen your file yet. We haven't learned all there is to learn about you, but already I just know.

I've finally found that piece of my heart that was missing. It's you, Evan.

Hi, baby.