Daily Dose of Mama: Happy Birthday Day to Me

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Happy Birthday Day to Me

Today is my birthday. I'm 29....seriously.

Birthdays are a little anticlimactic for me. Appa and I never make a big deal about our birthdays (we save it all up to go overboard for Little Bug's). Pre-child we used to go out for dinner and Appa once bought me a Harry Potter cake that said "Happy Birthday, you witch," but other than that, birthdays have never been a big deal.

The biggest reason for this is because we are boring people and just don't have enough inclination to plan or execute anything big. But as we started dealing with infertility, birthdays became slightly annoying reminders to me that someone somewhere had a baby when I could not...nothing like being jealous of your own mother to enjoy your special day. There were a few years where I stopped sending cards or gifts to people on their birthdays and just allowed myself to get in funks...oops.

That period was short lived, but it still pops into my head every birthday now, although it doesn't upset me and is more of just a reminder of what a different space in my life and emotions I am now. On birthdays I also inevitably think about my son's birth mother and how she must think of him on his birthday. I think of her birthday and how we will never be able to think of her on hers. I try to think about my mom and what she went through on this day to bring me into the world, but I must admit selfishly I just don't really get that because I don't have a reference for that. I do wish her a "Happy Birth Day" each year, however, because I know I didn't make it super easy.

I also think about presents and having my husband bring home a bottle of champagne and how I am going to make him wish me a happy birthday at least once an hour, so don't think it's all seriousness on my birthday. In fact, the seriousness and reflection is a very small part of my birthday experience...one that will most likely live solely on this blournal from now on.

For today I am just going to enjoy telling people I am 29 and not actually lying about it.

And the champagne...I hope Appa comes through with the champagne. Maybe he will even bring me a Twilight-themed cake that says "Happy Birthday, you blood sucker."

EDITED TO ADD: Two dozen beautiful roses sent to work....nice touch, Appa. I'm a lucky gal to have such a thoughtful husband.

9 comments:

KrisApril 8, 2010 at 8:51 AM
I love this post. It brings up so many interesting thoughts, especially about the birth mothers.

I had a brief moment when birthdays were infertility reminders too. On my 30th birthday a group of us married couples flew to Colorado for an old college friend get-together. It was there when my friend told me she was pregnant with twins after hearing I was struggling - I HATED that birthday. It's amazing how different I feel now, it's wonderful.

I hope you have an awesome day, Cori. You are such a cool person and deserve the best. Enjoy '29!' ;)
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ChristineApril 8, 2010 at 9:43 AM
Happy birthday to you! I enjoyed reading about how you celebrate birthdays and your feelings about them. You deserve to have a fabulous birthday. I hope you get your champagne and a yummy cake (Twilight or other)!
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KaraApril 8, 2010 at 1:28 PM
Ahhh....29....Those were the days! Seriously though, enjoy your birthday and enjoy where you are at in your life! Birthdays bring up a mix of emotions for me too-I think it goes with the territory when you go through what you went through. But you deserve to be celebrated, and of course the bubbly always helps! Hope you have a great day. Happy Birthday Friend!
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AnonymousApril 8, 2010 at 1:46 PM
Hey, you're really 29? I saw that on fb and thought you were just saying that. :) My birthday tends to be a day of reflection also so I can kind of relate to your post. I hope you have a wonderful day and an amazing year. You're at a great place in your life and that's definitely something to celebrate!
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CoriApril 8, 2010 at 2:53 PM
Audrey, that's funny! It's true, though, for just this year I am actually 29, and I excited to see what it brings!
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KrisApril 8, 2010 at 3:16 PM
I came back to read this again and saw you got roses, yay! Happy b-day :)
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sueApril 8, 2010 at 3:31 PM
happy birthday again!!!! sounds like you ARE having a wonderful day! how about a BOF cake that says happy birthday you President Kang?
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everythingismeowsomeApril 8, 2010 at 4:37 PM
Happy Birthday to you! Oh, you crazy twenty somethings!! Hopefully Appa will come through with the champagne. Nothing beats champagne, but the flowers ARE a nice touch!!
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kellyApril 9, 2010 at 3:18 PM
Happy belated Birthday! I love (and hate) that you are 29. Hate only because I'm jealous :) I hope it was a wonderful day. Good job, Appa!!

PS - I love Sue's BOF cake idea!!
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Thanks for your daily dose of you....

Everyday Mama

I'm a 32-year-old everyday mama. My husband (Appa) and I adopted our first son Little Bug (at 10 months old) from Korea in September 2008. We adopted our second son, Little Bro, from Korea in April 2011 at age 21 months. We adopted our third son,Little Moon, at age 3 in November 2013. I've wanted to be a mama for a long time, but I'm still trying to figure out the reality of it all and take time to enjoy the delicate beauty of the highs and the lows.

I worked full time as an editor, which I loved; but I made the bittersweet decision to stay home with my children after Little Bro came home. I'm now clumsily finding my footing in a new world of housekeeping, menu planning, budgeting, cooking, cleaning, and rainy-day activities, as well as navigating the world of IEPs, parent advocacy, and special needs education (spoiler: I suck at house work). My husband is hot and smart and quiet and loyal, and I think (know) my sons are the cutest, happiest little boys in the world.

I also struggle at times with mild depression, anxiety, post-adoption depression, my husband's constant absence due to his stressful and super time-consuming job, the challenges of helping my older son with his sometimes exhausting special needs, and our transition to a family of three little boys with just 19 and 14 months between them. I worry way too much about what people think of me, hate talking on the phone, and I am trying to trust myself more.

Oh yeah, I'm unable to give birth to children; love books, writing, traveling, and the color brown; hate to clean, cook, craft, or do laundry; allergic to pretty much everything but food (thank God); and think camping in anything but a tent is lame.

I needed somewhere to drop my daily mama thoughts and musings on toddler poop to avoid massive clutter and ramblings on our private family blog. Writing it down on paper is so '90s.

This is my everyday "blournal" as I navigate through my life as a first-time (or is it third-time now?) mama and long-time me. So....hi.

You can contact me at daily.dose.of.mama (at) gmail.com.

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As an editor, I deal with people on a regular basis who think images or content on the internet (whether it does or does not have a copyright designation) are "fair use." Your lesson for the day is that anything someone writes or creates that is published on the internet is copyright protected, whether he or she spells it out or not. Although I doubt anyone wants to steal my riveting posts on toddler poop, it doesn't hurt to educate the world about the wonderful magic of online copyright law.