Daily Dose of Mama: Brothers

Monday, March 28, 2011

Brothers

Little Bug is so ready.

A year and a half ago Appa and I were concerned that we would need to “go on hold” due to Little Bug’s needs. One year ago we knew Little Bug was closer to being ready and felt comfortable with the 6-8 month window we knew we had between Dong Sang’s referral and go time for Hyung. Of course, when 6-8 months stretched to 12-15 months total, the only bright spot was giving Little Bug a little more time as an only child.

And, at almost exactly a year later, our baby bug is no longer a baby and SO, SO, SO ready to be a big brother. He’s blossomed so much in the last few months (and I know I always say that, but this kid, he is doing some mind blowing things lately). His social habits have really evened out, and every morning and evening are filled with chatter about his friends. Having a little brother will definitely be an adjustment, but I think Little Bug is at a place developmentally where he’ll feel more benefit and fun than jealousy and anger at having Little Bro home.

Except if Little Bro tries to take his raggies…..so Little Bro is on notice there.

But when I watch Little Bug at night, silly and happy and helpful and so aware, my heart just bursts with excited anticipation at the day when he realized that his hopefully-eventually-to-be best friend isn’t going anywhere. It’s like this giant surprise that I can’t wait to see his reaction to.

Of course, we’re not adopting Little Bro to be a brother to Little Bug. He has his own defined place in our family that has nothing to do with Little Bug. We’re excited for him as a person, not for what he can bring to our older son.

But I hope that eventually Little Bro comes to see Little Bug as a really great surprise, too.

Because, mark my words, the moment these two connect will be a moment I will never, ever forget. I hope this is the beginning of one of the most important relationships in the world for these two little boys.

For a mama who wanted sugar and spice and everything pink and nice, I can’t fathom being more excited about anything than I am about being the mama to little brothers.

7 comments:

everythingismeowsomeMarch 28, 2011 at 1:40 PM
A brotherly bond is a special thing to watch and experience. I am excited for you.
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sueMarch 28, 2011 at 2:57 PM
i got chills reading this. i can't wait to see another friend with brothers!!!
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JoJoMarch 28, 2011 at 3:46 PM
These 2 weeks are certainly a time of reflection and you now can truly get excited for the future. I'm so happy for you!!
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TiffanyMarch 28, 2011 at 7:43 PM
It is pretty dang awesome. And you have this really rare and special opportunity where they are going to be immediately interacting with one another. How cool is that?
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Annie BMarch 28, 2011 at 10:17 PM
It sounds like everything is really falling into place. There will definitely be some adjustment going on, but I have a good feeling for you all. Happy last few days as a family of three...
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KarenMarch 28, 2011 at 10:30 PM
Brothers are truly amazing. My heart overflows every single day when I see how much my boys love each other. They've learned such compassion and tenderness from caring for their brothers, and at the same time they are having so much fun! I would not trade that relationship for the WORLD.
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kellyMarch 29, 2011 at 11:46 AM
I totally remember you worrying that your family wasn't quite ready for a referral because Little Bug needed some more time on his own - gosh that seems like yesterday in some ways! My, how things change. Oh, I can't wait to see Little Bug become a BIG brother to Big Star!!
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Thanks for your daily dose of you....

Everyday Mama

I'm a 32-year-old everyday mama. My husband (Appa) and I adopted our first son Little Bug (at 10 months old) from Korea in September 2008. We adopted our second son, Little Bro, from Korea in April 2011 at age 21 months. We adopted our third son,Little Moon, at age 3 in November 2013. I've wanted to be a mama for a long time, but I'm still trying to figure out the reality of it all and take time to enjoy the delicate beauty of the highs and the lows.

I worked full time as an editor, which I loved; but I made the bittersweet decision to stay home with my children after Little Bro came home. I'm now clumsily finding my footing in a new world of housekeeping, menu planning, budgeting, cooking, cleaning, and rainy-day activities, as well as navigating the world of IEPs, parent advocacy, and special needs education (spoiler: I suck at house work). My husband is hot and smart and quiet and loyal, and I think (know) my sons are the cutest, happiest little boys in the world.

I also struggle at times with mild depression, anxiety, post-adoption depression, my husband's constant absence due to his stressful and super time-consuming job, the challenges of helping my older son with his sometimes exhausting special needs, and our transition to a family of three little boys with just 19 and 14 months between them. I worry way too much about what people think of me, hate talking on the phone, and I am trying to trust myself more.

Oh yeah, I'm unable to give birth to children; love books, writing, traveling, and the color brown; hate to clean, cook, craft, or do laundry; allergic to pretty much everything but food (thank God); and think camping in anything but a tent is lame.

I needed somewhere to drop my daily mama thoughts and musings on toddler poop to avoid massive clutter and ramblings on our private family blog. Writing it down on paper is so '90s.

This is my everyday "blournal" as I navigate through my life as a first-time (or is it third-time now?) mama and long-time me. So....hi.

You can contact me at daily.dose.of.mama (at) gmail.com.

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As an editor, I deal with people on a regular basis who think images or content on the internet (whether it does or does not have a copyright designation) are "fair use." Your lesson for the day is that anything someone writes or creates that is published on the internet is copyright protected, whether he or she spells it out or not. Although I doubt anyone wants to steal my riveting posts on toddler poop, it doesn't hurt to educate the world about the wonderful magic of online copyright law.