Daily Dose of Mama: Patience

Monday, June 21, 2010

Patience

I've taken to wearing a little collection of charms around my neck each day. It's admittedly not my style, but I'm compelled each morning to fasten all three charms around my neck and say a silent prayer for patience.

The charm on the far right says patience in hangul (the Korean characters). Appa bought it for me during the wait to bring Little Bug home. At the time, I was 2 months into my wait and antsy as hell. Patience, I thought, could be my mantra.

I had no idea at the time that my little bug would teach me a million times over what the meaning of that word really was.

So my charms evolved from just the word to the real thing. SHMC, my living, breathing reminder of my ongoing quest for patience. It hasn't always been easy (in fact, it has been the hardest thing I have encountered in my life), but he has taught me more about patience than anything else ever could, and I am a better person for it.

His charm sits between my hangul charm and my final charm because I feel like he is the reason that naive, wailing-after-2-months woman is the woman I am today. The woman who has had to sit by for 2 full months while her ESHB's paperwork is unnecessarily delayed, causing heartache and anger that has surprised us all, but who still falls asleep at night counting her blessings.

It's not easy, and it makes me want to cry every time I think about it, but each morning I fasten on my reminders of my prayer for patience and wait for the day when the patience will all pay off...just like it always does.

7 comments:

sueJune 21, 2010 at 11:59 AM
i noticed your charms for the first time last monday. they are lovely. i love knowing the meaning behind them and how they help you get through each day. hoping that you get that MD signature soon. . .
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kellyJune 21, 2010 at 12:28 PM
I love your charms. Patience is soooo hard (I say as I sit on my couch frustrated that my TC hasn't come this morning). I AM NOT PATIENT. This adoption journey has taught me nothing, I guess. Somethings I guess you can't change. I'm really hoping that MD woman does her thing so you can start being "patient" for the next step to happen ... and then the next step .... ahhh, it's neverending.
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everythingismeowsomeJune 21, 2010 at 1:23 PM
Patience, like love, sometimes just has to be a decision that you choose to make. Every day. Some days it is easier than others, that is for sure.....but just like when you choose love, it always pays off.
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ChristineJune 21, 2010 at 1:58 PM
I love those charms and the meaning behind them. Your patience will pay off, and in the meantime your attitude is an inspiration to others.
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BekahJune 21, 2010 at 3:04 PM
I love your charms too. I noticed them last week. I'm not going to say, "Hang in there." because I know how annoying that can be. What I will say is that you are amazing & always put things in perspective. I am a better person knowing you, my friend. I am always here for you during this wait.
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Annie BJune 21, 2010 at 7:32 PM
I love the idea of this and did something similar during our wait for referral and then travel. Somehow having something physical to focus my anxiety on just really helped. So do what you need to do to get through this wait. I hope you get some movement soon; this administrative limbo you are in just sounds so agonizing.
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Christine @ 12,450miles June 22, 2010 at 10:24 AM
I can't even imagine what you are going through emotionally... hugs.

And, I love those charms... but I think you already knew that!
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Thanks for your daily dose of you....

Everyday Mama

I'm a 32-year-old everyday mama. My husband (Appa) and I adopted our first son Little Bug (at 10 months old) from Korea in September 2008. We adopted our second son, Little Bro, from Korea in April 2011 at age 21 months. We adopted our third son,Little Moon, at age 3 in November 2013. I've wanted to be a mama for a long time, but I'm still trying to figure out the reality of it all and take time to enjoy the delicate beauty of the highs and the lows.

I worked full time as an editor, which I loved; but I made the bittersweet decision to stay home with my children after Little Bro came home. I'm now clumsily finding my footing in a new world of housekeeping, menu planning, budgeting, cooking, cleaning, and rainy-day activities, as well as navigating the world of IEPs, parent advocacy, and special needs education (spoiler: I suck at house work). My husband is hot and smart and quiet and loyal, and I think (know) my sons are the cutest, happiest little boys in the world.

I also struggle at times with mild depression, anxiety, post-adoption depression, my husband's constant absence due to his stressful and super time-consuming job, the challenges of helping my older son with his sometimes exhausting special needs, and our transition to a family of three little boys with just 19 and 14 months between them. I worry way too much about what people think of me, hate talking on the phone, and I am trying to trust myself more.

Oh yeah, I'm unable to give birth to children; love books, writing, traveling, and the color brown; hate to clean, cook, craft, or do laundry; allergic to pretty much everything but food (thank God); and think camping in anything but a tent is lame.

I needed somewhere to drop my daily mama thoughts and musings on toddler poop to avoid massive clutter and ramblings on our private family blog. Writing it down on paper is so '90s.

This is my everyday "blournal" as I navigate through my life as a first-time (or is it third-time now?) mama and long-time me. So....hi.

You can contact me at daily.dose.of.mama (at) gmail.com.

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS COPYRIGHT PROTECTED.

As an editor, I deal with people on a regular basis who think images or content on the internet (whether it does or does not have a copyright designation) are "fair use." Your lesson for the day is that anything someone writes or creates that is published on the internet is copyright protected, whether he or she spells it out or not. Although I doubt anyone wants to steal my riveting posts on toddler poop, it doesn't hurt to educate the world about the wonderful magic of online copyright law.