New Year's Resolutions.

Every year I make New Years resolutions. Honestly, I cannot think of a single big, life changing one that I actually stuck with. That's not to say I haven't had resolutions stick, rather, those that stuck were mainly made as a joint resolutions with Appa throughout the years whenever we felt....resolved.

However, I think it is important anyway to consider your personal goals at the beginning of each year. As I have gotten "older," I have learned that goals are only effective if they are the delicate balance between specific enough to achieve and broad enough to adapt and include ways in which to achieve said goals.

So, after much thought and soul searching, these are my 2010 resolutions.

1. Drink less pop. My consumption of a certain 29 flavor diet pop is an absolute physical and mental addiction and is unhealthy for my mind and body, as well as an unneeded financial drain. I would love to end 2010 completely pop free, but I'm trying to be realistic, so my goal is to have pop less than a single bottle a couple times a week. My plan to achieve this is to switch, effective Jan. 1, to tea or coffee only to combat my caffeine addictions. After I lose the urge to have pop, I will start to allow myself the occasional drink if I feel strongly. I am also going to start carrying tea bags in my purse and make more of an effort to carry my metal water bottle with me for easy access to liquid on the go.
2. Keep a cleaner house. My housekeeping skills leave MUCH to be desired and doesn't always give my family the environment that I want, not to mention how much better I feel emotionally and mentally when my house is clean. My resolution is to pick up the house at least 5 nights a week, if not more. This includes sweeping and doing the dishes. I am hoping that these habits will stick quickly and branch out to cleaning every night and adding other daily tasks, such as laundry and wiping down the bathrooms.
3. Speak softer. For whatever reason, I am a loud talker. I hope to be more mindful of this bad habit this year and lower my normal volume by a bit. I haven't figured out a good way to do this, other than to perhaps ask Appa to remind me if my voice gets too loud. However, he already does something similar for my nail biting, and it's really annoying, so perhaps we don't need two of these "cues."
4. Keep my priorities in line. Although my family is my top priority, sometimes my actions probably aren't best serving that. Things like reading and computer time need to be given a back seat to my family time. I am going to try to better achieve this by limiting my computer time to after Little Bug goes to bed on most nights, and limiting my computer time when with Appa to an hour or so.
5. Be healthier. Doesn't everyone want to lose weight? I am the heaviest I have ever been in my whole life, and it is mainly because motherhood has allowed me the perfect excuse to not find time to work out or eat healthier. As my doctor told me yesterday, "the stakes have never been higher." If there was ever a time for me to be healthy, it should be now, for Little Bug and Little Bro. However, this is so daunting, that I will need to take it slowly and make sure habits stick. First up, working out. Some form of exercise each day, in some capacity. We have exercise equipment in our home, so I truly have no excuse. If I start going to bed a bit earlier, I could start getting up in the morning a little earlier and working out for a bit in the morning. Ahh, lofty goals. My ultimate goal is to get back into a mindset where I feel off on the days I don't work out. I used to be there, once upon a non-Little Bug time. As for eating healthier, this will be harder. I have little time (and less motivation) to cook meals, healthy or otherwise, on work days. I am hoping to get back to a menu system that worked well for our family a long time ago to make healthy meals and freeze portions for easy access on the week days. Little Bug deserves more variety than he currently gets. Additionally, I just need to exercise some self control and choose better eating choices for myself. No one will do it for me.
6. Parent a 2-year-old, not just a "special needs child." The 2-year-old child that is currently rolling around on the floor throwing a fit because his dad put him down for a nanosecond is a reminder that my little boy is a bonafide Terrible Two [break here for me to stop said child from pulling the rotating big screen TV from the wall and hanging on it--I am dead serious]. There are a lot of people in our lives, both well meaning and not so much, who have strong feelings about how to deal with limitations like our son has, and it is sometimes easy to get sucked into that (certainly easier than the therapies every night). Ultimately, I know my son, and he CAN do anything and everything with the right amount of practice, strength, motivation, and time. Yes, he has special needs, but he also has the spunk and personality and affection of a 2 year old, and I think he will be better served if Appa and I continue to find that sweet spot between "2 year old" and "special needs child" that makes up our darling Little Bug.
7. Trust myself. 2010 has some exciting changes in store for my family, and honestly, I am terrified that I won't be able to handle it and sometimes listen too much to those close around us who are less than supportive of our choice to adopt again so quickly. I need to trust myself to know that Appa and I will make the right choices for our family so long as we listen to our hearts and minds.