Daily Dose of Mama: I Will Miss This

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I Will Miss This

A bloggy friend of mine recently wrote a post about taking the time to enjoy the period of life you are in right now because a time will come when you will miss it. It really stuck with me.

So, I will someday miss the nights when all Little Bug wants to do is sit on my lap and have me sing his three favorite songs to him...over and over and over. When he grabs my face to make sure I am watching him, just because he likes me to.

I will miss those bad nights where Little Bug constantly wakes up crying and will only be consoled if I am standing over his crib. I will miss how he will occasionally look up from his butt up hybrid fetal position to make sure I am still there. I will miss how he needs my presence when he is feeling most vulnerable.

I will his different cries and how I have learned what they mean. Even the loud, angry cry. One day he won't make that anymore and that unique sound that is so totally his will be relegated to my memory only.

I will miss the nights when he can't fall asleep, and I have to sit by his bed. Soon my time will be divided and it won't be so easy to devote hours in the evening to his bedside alone.

So, even though my eyes are falling out from fatigue, and I even though I rolled over in bed last night and let Little Bug cry because, as I vehemently told our very sick Appa, "I just CANNOT do it right now," I really will miss all of it someday.

And remembering that makes it all a little bit easier today.

4 comments:

BekahJanuary 20, 2010 at 10:02 AM
Very, very sweet. Taking time to soak in every moment is such an important lesson in life. I know that I try to work on that now before A comes home & will try even harder when he does come home.
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TiffanyJanuary 20, 2010 at 12:44 PM
Love the post. I'm trying to remember right now that someday I'll miss Miles doing acrobatics off the side railing of his crib instead of napping - which is what he is doing at this very moment. They won't always be this cute, but there will be other things that we will love even more about them. :)
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everythingismeowsomeJanuary 20, 2010 at 10:05 PM
It is so true. I used to cringe when I would hear Isaac crying at night. As weird as it is to say, now I am sometimes relieved to hear it. Comforting him is easy and familiar, whereas I still flounder with Matthew a little bit. And I cherish every precious minute of snuggle time I can get with my growing boy.
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KrisJanuary 21, 2010 at 2:29 PM
Wow, this made me stop and think about all the little things I'll miss with X.
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Thanks for your daily dose of you....

Everyday Mama

I'm a 32-year-old everyday mama. My husband (Appa) and I adopted our first son Little Bug (at 10 months old) from Korea in September 2008. We adopted our second son, Little Bro, from Korea in April 2011 at age 21 months. We adopted our third son,Little Moon, at age 3 in November 2013. I've wanted to be a mama for a long time, but I'm still trying to figure out the reality of it all and take time to enjoy the delicate beauty of the highs and the lows.

I worked full time as an editor, which I loved; but I made the bittersweet decision to stay home with my children after Little Bro came home. I'm now clumsily finding my footing in a new world of housekeeping, menu planning, budgeting, cooking, cleaning, and rainy-day activities, as well as navigating the world of IEPs, parent advocacy, and special needs education (spoiler: I suck at house work). My husband is hot and smart and quiet and loyal, and I think (know) my sons are the cutest, happiest little boys in the world.

I also struggle at times with mild depression, anxiety, post-adoption depression, my husband's constant absence due to his stressful and super time-consuming job, the challenges of helping my older son with his sometimes exhausting special needs, and our transition to a family of three little boys with just 19 and 14 months between them. I worry way too much about what people think of me, hate talking on the phone, and I am trying to trust myself more.

Oh yeah, I'm unable to give birth to children; love books, writing, traveling, and the color brown; hate to clean, cook, craft, or do laundry; allergic to pretty much everything but food (thank God); and think camping in anything but a tent is lame.

I needed somewhere to drop my daily mama thoughts and musings on toddler poop to avoid massive clutter and ramblings on our private family blog. Writing it down on paper is so '90s.

This is my everyday "blournal" as I navigate through my life as a first-time (or is it third-time now?) mama and long-time me. So....hi.

You can contact me at daily.dose.of.mama (at) gmail.com.

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As an editor, I deal with people on a regular basis who think images or content on the internet (whether it does or does not have a copyright designation) are "fair use." Your lesson for the day is that anything someone writes or creates that is published on the internet is copyright protected, whether he or she spells it out or not. Although I doubt anyone wants to steal my riveting posts on toddler poop, it doesn't hurt to educate the world about the wonderful magic of online copyright law.