Everything I Need to Know I Learned From a Glee Cover of a Rolling Stones Song

"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need."

My little sister and I hated each other for probably the first 22+ years of our lives. Hate is perhaps a strong word, but strongly, strongly disliked is accurate. It wasn't until 2005 that my sister and I rediscovered each other as women and friends. Since then, we have continued to cultivate a really nice friendship as equals, and I love her dearly.

So, when my sister announced her pregnancy about a month before we announced our intentions to adopt, I was very happy for her. I watched her pregnancy and shared in her ups and downs. On the day she gave birth to her son, the first grandchild in our family, I spoke to her from the operating room. It was Thanksgiving Day 2007. All day long, I rejoiced from afar at the birth of this little boy, all the while thinking of my own little guy I would someday call my own.

Turns out, my little boy was being born…that very same day, just a few hours before my nephew. On the other side of the world.

The entire 9 months I had been watching my sister's pregnancy, I had also been watching my son's birth mother's. The irony of the whole thing is sometimes too much for me.

It soon became apparent that my little nephew faced a lot of challenges. One of his challenges was hypotonia. For months, I counseled my sister and watched her navigate through the unexpected world of special needs and therapies and the depression that sometimes comes with it. I was able to provide her with an objective counsel, as someone outside the situation, but who still cared deeply. She was, and still is, a great example to me of positivity and advocacy.

During this time, we received Little Bug's normal referral and marveled over the fact that our boys were born on the same day. "Delicious irony," I believe I liked to call it. My sister was worried that her son wouldn't be able to keep up with his cousins, and I swore to her that my son would always be a special buddy with his "birthday twin."

Then came the phone call that changed my life. My 10-month-old son was ready to travel home, but Oh, by the way, he actually had severe hypotonia and was 6 months delayed. They would understand if we wanted to back out…

Obviously shock and devastation were the main emotions, with a healthy dose of anger and fear. However, in the back of my mind, I wasn't surprised at all. Just as I had watched my sister's belly swell for both our babies, I had watched her face these special needs head on for 10 months. I could do this because I was already watching someone else do it. As we like to say now, "Hypotonia runs in our family." Little Bug was meant to come to us, and we were meant to parent him.

I like to think Appa and I rebounded quicker than most would, and we were on a plane within days, flying truly blind as to what we were facing. I had a feeling it would all be okay.

Of course, it was.

You can't always get what you want...
I did not want to deal with infertility. My sister did not want her son to have the additional challenges of special needs. I did not want my son to have the additional challenges of special needs. And like I said before, for a large portion of my life, I didn't want to have a sister 22 months younger and the polar opposite from me.

But, if you try sometimes, you just might find…
Infertility gave me an inner strength and life perspective I am very thankful for and lead us to have the courage to adopt. My sister jumped in head first into the world of therapies and doctors and neurologists and bared her soul to me in her darkest hours. Her perspective on life changed dramatically, but not for the bad. Appa and I took a leap of faith and got on that pretty teal colored plane.

You get what you need.
My sister is enjoying daily life with her son who is walking, loves peas, Elmo, and music, and is a joy to have. Little Bug is walking and talking and also loves peas, Elmo, and music (they are birthday twins, after all), and is the very best thing about my life. The two little boys have only met once, but they connected in a way that was almost errie. They truly are the special friend the other needed in their corner.

And my life is so blessed because I have a sister who I can talk honestly with on the days that "what you needed" is not always "what you wanted." Who understands almost intuitively that the tears are out of love. A sister who understands the magnitude of a 3 inch scoot on the floor or a new word. A sister who is walking this path next to me, not cheering me on from the sidelines.

And those precious, perfect birthday twins who have made my family so happy…my sister and I whisper sometimes that although neither of us would wish these needs on the other's son, we both maybe "needed" to have sons with hypotonia, for each other, for them, for ourselves.

Oh, Glee. You are so wise with your covers.