Daily Dose of Mama: Adoptivus: The Smile

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Adoptivus: The Smile

September 16, 2008. The day we met our son. I could not pick which memory to preserve, so I chose three.

Appa is a pretty reserved man, and the honest truth is that he doesn't love kids, at least other people's kids. I knew he would love our son, but there was a part of me that worried that he would be an unintentionally distant parent.

Somehow in the midst of loving on my baby for the first time, I knew that I needed to offer Appa a chance to hold his son. When I asked him if he wanted a turn, the sureness and excitement in his voice caught me off guard.

When I handed him our son, Appa flashed the most brilliant, authentic smile I have ever (and I mean that sincerely) seen on his face. I knew, without a doubt, that I was witnessing him fall head-over-heels in love with Little Bug. His eyes glazed over and it seemed he would now forever be at this child's whim (and he is).

That made me fall in love with Appa on a whole new level. To watch him claim, instantaneously, this child as his own and show him such tender and true love was one of the most moving moments of my entire trip and a memory I will always hold very dear in my heart.

6 comments:

KaraSeptember 16, 2010 at 9:24 AM
I love this post. What an amazing memory!
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KristenSeptember 16, 2010 at 9:31 AM
I love all 3 of these stories...the last 2 made me cry.
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kellySeptember 16, 2010 at 11:29 AM
OK, you said you couldn't remember certain things about your trip (like where you went to dinner the first night) but look how much you remember about the important things. These feelings must just come flooding back. I know what you mean about falling in love with your husband all over again (and on a completely different level than before) when you see him hold your child for the first time. I felt that way too. In the exact same place it happened to you. In that funny little playroom at Eastern :)
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everythingismeowsomeSeptember 16, 2010 at 11:41 AM
Love this! There's just something about watching your husband become a daddy....or an appa.
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ChristineSeptember 16, 2010 at 12:59 PM
That's amazing. What a sweet, sweet memory!
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AnonymousSeptember 16, 2010 at 1:04 PM
I just caught up on your Adoptivus posts. I feel all weepy right now... both because your memories are so special and also because it brings back so many of my own memories (of meeting my son for the first time). I hope you're all having a wonderful week celebrating! :)
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Thanks for your daily dose of you....

Everyday Mama

I'm a 32-year-old everyday mama. My husband (Appa) and I adopted our first son Little Bug (at 10 months old) from Korea in September 2008. We adopted our second son, Little Bro, from Korea in April 2011 at age 21 months. We adopted our third son,Little Moon, at age 3 in November 2013. I've wanted to be a mama for a long time, but I'm still trying to figure out the reality of it all and take time to enjoy the delicate beauty of the highs and the lows.

I worked full time as an editor, which I loved; but I made the bittersweet decision to stay home with my children after Little Bro came home. I'm now clumsily finding my footing in a new world of housekeeping, menu planning, budgeting, cooking, cleaning, and rainy-day activities, as well as navigating the world of IEPs, parent advocacy, and special needs education (spoiler: I suck at house work). My husband is hot and smart and quiet and loyal, and I think (know) my sons are the cutest, happiest little boys in the world.

I also struggle at times with mild depression, anxiety, post-adoption depression, my husband's constant absence due to his stressful and super time-consuming job, the challenges of helping my older son with his sometimes exhausting special needs, and our transition to a family of three little boys with just 19 and 14 months between them. I worry way too much about what people think of me, hate talking on the phone, and I am trying to trust myself more.

Oh yeah, I'm unable to give birth to children; love books, writing, traveling, and the color brown; hate to clean, cook, craft, or do laundry; allergic to pretty much everything but food (thank God); and think camping in anything but a tent is lame.

I needed somewhere to drop my daily mama thoughts and musings on toddler poop to avoid massive clutter and ramblings on our private family blog. Writing it down on paper is so '90s.

This is my everyday "blournal" as I navigate through my life as a first-time (or is it third-time now?) mama and long-time me. So....hi.

You can contact me at daily.dose.of.mama (at) gmail.com.

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS COPYRIGHT PROTECTED.

As an editor, I deal with people on a regular basis who think images or content on the internet (whether it does or does not have a copyright designation) are "fair use." Your lesson for the day is that anything someone writes or creates that is published on the internet is copyright protected, whether he or she spells it out or not. Although I doubt anyone wants to steal my riveting posts on toddler poop, it doesn't hurt to educate the world about the wonderful magic of online copyright law.