Daily Dose of Mama: The Glimpse

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The Glimpse

Sometimes Little Bug's special needs get me down. Sometimes, when I let myself get into a funk, I have a hard time imagining our lives as anything but the now. The strides Little Bug works so . damn . hard . to achieve are easy for me to momentarily write off as never gonna happen.

But they do.

And I know they will, but sometimes I just can't visualize it. It's a failing I am trying hard to get better at, for myself personally and for Little Bug. Little Bug deserves a mama who is able to look past her selfish feelings and believe in him 100% of the time.

So last night when I watched Little Bug eat an entire bowl of turkey chili and mashed potatoes independently and without prompting from me while using his fork, I forced myself to remember when Battle Silverware ruled our lives and caused me such distress. It seems like a distant memory now, an unhappy memory that is already becoming hazy, but still packs a sting.

If only I had the glimpse of last night back then. Instead I'll settle for using this as a reminder that just like the unhappy Battle Silverware phase, all the other things will happen in their own time just as they should.

I 100% know they will.

4 comments:

KrisMay 4, 2010 at 1:10 PM
Life would be so much easier if we could just peek into the future to see how things turn out, but it wouldn't be as much fun or as satisfying, would it?

It's so awesome that he used a fork to eat a whole bowl of food without prompting!
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AnonymousMay 4, 2010 at 1:15 PM
Little Bug is one amazing little boy. :)
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ChristineMay 4, 2010 at 5:29 PM
Little Bug does seem to work and try so hard--what an amazing little boy you have! I'm glad that Battle Silverware has seen its end. It does sound frustrating!
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Annie BMay 5, 2010 at 11:05 PM
Yay for Bug! And yes, do file away these successes to get you through future Battles.
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Thanks for your daily dose of you....

Everyday Mama

I'm a 32-year-old everyday mama. My husband (Appa) and I adopted our first son Little Bug (at 10 months old) from Korea in September 2008. We adopted our second son, Little Bro, from Korea in April 2011 at age 21 months. We adopted our third son,Little Moon, at age 3 in November 2013. I've wanted to be a mama for a long time, but I'm still trying to figure out the reality of it all and take time to enjoy the delicate beauty of the highs and the lows.

I worked full time as an editor, which I loved; but I made the bittersweet decision to stay home with my children after Little Bro came home. I'm now clumsily finding my footing in a new world of housekeeping, menu planning, budgeting, cooking, cleaning, and rainy-day activities, as well as navigating the world of IEPs, parent advocacy, and special needs education (spoiler: I suck at house work). My husband is hot and smart and quiet and loyal, and I think (know) my sons are the cutest, happiest little boys in the world.

I also struggle at times with mild depression, anxiety, post-adoption depression, my husband's constant absence due to his stressful and super time-consuming job, the challenges of helping my older son with his sometimes exhausting special needs, and our transition to a family of three little boys with just 19 and 14 months between them. I worry way too much about what people think of me, hate talking on the phone, and I am trying to trust myself more.

Oh yeah, I'm unable to give birth to children; love books, writing, traveling, and the color brown; hate to clean, cook, craft, or do laundry; allergic to pretty much everything but food (thank God); and think camping in anything but a tent is lame.

I needed somewhere to drop my daily mama thoughts and musings on toddler poop to avoid massive clutter and ramblings on our private family blog. Writing it down on paper is so '90s.

This is my everyday "blournal" as I navigate through my life as a first-time (or is it third-time now?) mama and long-time me. So....hi.

You can contact me at daily.dose.of.mama (at) gmail.com.

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As an editor, I deal with people on a regular basis who think images or content on the internet (whether it does or does not have a copyright designation) are "fair use." Your lesson for the day is that anything someone writes or creates that is published on the internet is copyright protected, whether he or she spells it out or not. Although I doubt anyone wants to steal my riveting posts on toddler poop, it doesn't hurt to educate the world about the wonderful magic of online copyright law.