Teaching Them to See

When we were little, my mom used to tell us that "you always give people what they need."  My parents were examples by action of charity and generosity.  I watched them buy bus tickets for strangers, give homeless people jackets off their backs, and regularly gave to those holding signs on the side of the road.  They taught me not to avert my eyes and that lesson is one I cherish.

We grew up in an area of the West where a lot of transient people were coming through.  They would hold signs saying they were hungry.  I saw people like that weekly, if not daily.  And my mom always made sure we saw them.  She'd take us through the aisles of the grocery store explaining that giving a hungry person money would only be a fix of a few hours as they would likely spend it on some overpriced value meal (or something even more destructive, as I realized as I got older).  "We give them what they need...food," my mom would drill into us.  Into the cart would go a jug of water, packets of Crystal Light, peanut butter, a loaf of bread, fruit, carrots, and a box of crackers. We'd often pick up fried chicken or something hot from the deli to add. But mostly, she'd make us think about food that would stretch into multiple meals, food that would give weak people energy, food that would hydrate people, and food that wouldn't spoil in heat.  And above all else, she made us think about how it felt to be hungry and scared that you couldn't put food in your body.

But she didn't stop there.  It wasn't enough for her to teach us about these people; we needed to know them.  So as young as I can remember, she would get us out of the car with her to deliver our bags of food.  When we got to be elementary age, she'd have us get out of the car alone.  I vividly remember being mortified by this and one time even laying on the floor of the car in an attempt not to have to get out.  I fought it, but she led by example when I refused to follow.

And her lesson stuck.  If I see a sign that says they are hungry, I try my hardest to get them some food. I think of my mom every time. And I see people now.  I will always be thankful for her gift.

As a mother myself, it has been important for me to instill this same lesson in my own sons.  But Toys for Tots and Secret Santa and food bank drives at the grocery store don't put a face to the issue, or really even teach children about the issue.  In an effort to increase our children's awareness, we decided to start asking for a food donation instead of birthday gifts.  We started talking to Little Bug and Little Bro about hunger and they quickly got the concept of people being hungry and sad and not being able to get food at the store. From there, it was a natural progression in their thinking that they could share food.  We have been going over this for a couple weeks, and when Little Bro's birthday rolled around last weekend, he didn't even bat an eye at the lack of gifts from his friends.

Today we took over a box filled with boxes of Cheerios into our local food bank....a small room in a business building.  My kids proudly gave them to the volunteer workers and I got a lump in my throat when they told her they would be back with more food when "the people get sad and hungry again."

On the way home, Little Bro told me that making people who were sad and hungry made him happy.  He told me he wanted to go to the store and get the hungry people ramen. And I realized he is getting it, as much as a 4 year old can.  And I'm thinking we might make this a monthly activity with shopping for food bank items and delivering them.

We don't give kids enough credit for being able to handle the hard stuff.  Hungry is an uncomfortable concept to expose children to, but it is also one that they can very easily be a part of.  I want to give my kids what my mom gave me...eyes to see and the drive to help.