Grateful

Sometimes I am so grateful I want to cry. I want to give someone a hug. I want to be able to show my appreciation in some way. Right that moment, as I feel my heart constricting in that pleasant and almost painful way.

This time, I can't. Not yet, anyway.

Little Bro's Korean social worker sent us a CD yesterday. On the disc entitled "my disc" in Hangul, was a 2-minute clip of our son running around the back offices of our Korean agency. Our social worker can be heard trying to bait big star over and over to perform some tricks or bits of cuteness he is clearly famous for. She snapped the video during the ending of what seemed to be a very casual and friendly visit and dropped in unceremoniously onto a disc that she sent to our U.S. agency.

Not something that is usually done. People just aren't lucky enough to get videos snapped by their social workers dropped in the mail to them.

Although we've already been spoiled beyond belief with three separate instances of video, this video was remarkable to us. To see him running and coping some toddler attitude. To hear the affection in her voice and watch his bond with his foster brother and foster mother in action. It's been a very bright spot in a very rough week.

And I can't even say thank you. I can't let our social worker know how much her thoughtful gesture means to us. To most, this was just a little video, but she knew it would be so much more to us.

Other families still wait, with few pictures and zero hopes of ever seeing a video of their child ahead of time. I hope more families can get gifts like this. Perhaps when we do meet her in a few months and express to her just how much her videos and pictures meant to us, more families will start getting updates like this.

But I so wish I could tell her today, while my heart is about ready to burst, how grateful I am that she has my son and both his families in her heart.