Two Years Ago

Big Star,

Right about now, 2 years ago, you were chasing your foster mother around the lobby of the Korean adoption agency.  People were milling about and there was a somber, tense feeling in the air, but you were oblivious to it.  You laughed and grinned and teased and chased.

And then, as if the gravity of the moment needed to somehow be pressed upon you, your foster mother, the only mother you had known for the last 2 years of your life, took you over to a large fish tank, bent down, and started whispering into your ear as the two of you watched the fish swim.

I don't know what she said to you, and it wasn't for my ears anyway.  I imagine it was something along the lines of love and sadness and hope.

Then she let you go, to a new life she didn't know if she would ever get to be a part of.

She sent your to the arms of another mother, one who also started whispering words of love, sadness, and hope in broken Korean and hesitant English.  A mother who had the honor of building a new life with you, and the pressure to make it worthy of the sacrifices so many had made for you already.

Today is your Family Day, my sweet Big Star.  Two years ago you became our family and we became yours.  It's a day of joy and sadness, a day to remember both the gift we have been given and the sacrifices others have made.  It is the day that you became not just Korean, but Korean American.  We could call it "Life Altering in Every Way Day," but Family Day rolls off the tongue so much better.

We celebrate with cupcakes and bulgogi and a big family adventure because we want to celebrate what a special part of our family you are, but as many a Family Day for you and your brother pass, I recognize that just as that day 2 years ago way, this anniversary will always be a bittersweet celebration.  I'm grateful to be able to send your sweet foster mother pictures today that will let her know that she is still definitely a part of your life.

And most of all, I am grateful for the last 2 years where I have been your mom.  I love you.