Daily Dose of Mama: I Know You

Monday, April 1, 2013

I Know You

To the mom at story time today:

I know you. I recognized you right away. I watched you direct your "calmer" child to the circle of children and then situate yourself and your more "active" daughter just outside the circle, allowing for a little room while still being part of the group.

I know your kids. I know your daughter who was rolling on the ground and making strange noises after a couple minutes. I know she couldn't help it and she wasn't just being a brat or intentionally disruptive. I know your other daughter, too. I immediately recognized the acceptance in her manner when you separated from her and the group to sit with her sister.

I know the library worker. The one who sheepishly but assertively whispered to you about 10 minutes into the story time that your daughter was being disruptive and needed to removed. I saw the set of her jaw, the black or white in her eyes.

I know your story. I didn't need to clearly hear your plea to let your daughter try to be apart of story time because I already knew what you were saying. I know your desperation to give your daughter the normal experiences her sister and peers get to have every day. I know your hope for sympathetic staff and accepting friends and parents.

I know that look. The one of resignation and disappointment you wore as you and your daughter quietly exited the room. The passing glance your other daughter threw back as you left, unsurprised and unfazed. The uncomfortable look on the staffer's face. The embarrassed or judgmental looks the other mothers leveled as you dragged your quietly moaning daughter out of that room.

I have no idea who you are, but I know you. And it broke my heart today to see you.

2 comments:

KatieApril 1, 2013 at 8:37 PM
Brought a little tear to my eye.
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NoraApril 1, 2013 at 10:21 PM
Oh. This is beautiful and sad and so, so familiar.
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Thanks for your daily dose of you....

Everyday Mama

I'm a 32-year-old everyday mama. My husband (Appa) and I adopted our first son Little Bug (at 10 months old) from Korea in September 2008. We adopted our second son, Little Bro, from Korea in April 2011 at age 21 months. We adopted our third son,Little Moon, at age 3 in November 2013. I've wanted to be a mama for a long time, but I'm still trying to figure out the reality of it all and take time to enjoy the delicate beauty of the highs and the lows.

I worked full time as an editor, which I loved; but I made the bittersweet decision to stay home with my children after Little Bro came home. I'm now clumsily finding my footing in a new world of housekeeping, menu planning, budgeting, cooking, cleaning, and rainy-day activities, as well as navigating the world of IEPs, parent advocacy, and special needs education (spoiler: I suck at house work). My husband is hot and smart and quiet and loyal, and I think (know) my sons are the cutest, happiest little boys in the world.

I also struggle at times with mild depression, anxiety, post-adoption depression, my husband's constant absence due to his stressful and super time-consuming job, the challenges of helping my older son with his sometimes exhausting special needs, and our transition to a family of three little boys with just 19 and 14 months between them. I worry way too much about what people think of me, hate talking on the phone, and I am trying to trust myself more.

Oh yeah, I'm unable to give birth to children; love books, writing, traveling, and the color brown; hate to clean, cook, craft, or do laundry; allergic to pretty much everything but food (thank God); and think camping in anything but a tent is lame.

I needed somewhere to drop my daily mama thoughts and musings on toddler poop to avoid massive clutter and ramblings on our private family blog. Writing it down on paper is so '90s.

This is my everyday "blournal" as I navigate through my life as a first-time (or is it third-time now?) mama and long-time me. So....hi.

You can contact me at daily.dose.of.mama (at) gmail.com.

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS COPYRIGHT PROTECTED.

As an editor, I deal with people on a regular basis who think images or content on the internet (whether it does or does not have a copyright designation) are "fair use." Your lesson for the day is that anything someone writes or creates that is published on the internet is copyright protected, whether he or she spells it out or not. Although I doubt anyone wants to steal my riveting posts on toddler poop, it doesn't hurt to educate the world about the wonderful magic of online copyright law.