Daily Dose of Mama: Some Days

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Some Days

Some days, usually for no real reason, I mourn the fact I am not at home with my baby all day, every day. As much as I love the choice I made to keep my job and the balance and fulfillment it brings me and the growth and development Little Bug gains from his time in school, some days I simply want to throw it all away and cuddle down into my own home with my own baby and just be.

I'm confident that the choices we've made are right for our family right now, but that doesn't mean those choices come without sacrifice and regret.

Like today, when, pure and simple, I miss my child.

6 comments:

TiffanyFebruary 23, 2011 at 12:38 PM
I hear ya. A sacrifice and gift at the same time.
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GraceFebruary 23, 2011 at 2:08 PM
oh man, i'm going back to work (part time) in exactly a month and in my head i know it's the right choice and it'll be good for both c and i, but right now, it makes me want to cry and squeeze him and not let go. sigh...
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CarrieFebruary 23, 2011 at 8:36 PM
Cori, if you decide you want to try working from home some day, let me know. I'd hire you to edit for me :). Then I could spend more time with MY kids!
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IP JourneyFebruary 23, 2011 at 10:44 PM
Awww...I totally hear you...it's hard trying to balance but you have to do what's best for you and your family.
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Christine @ 12,450miles February 24, 2011 at 7:39 AM
It's such a fine line... isn't it?! Here's hoping the pain and regret are less today!
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kellyFebruary 26, 2011 at 9:01 AM
These are such natural feelings, C. It's hard to find the perfect balance, isn't it?
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Thanks for your daily dose of you....

Everyday Mama

I'm a 32-year-old everyday mama. My husband (Appa) and I adopted our first son Little Bug (at 10 months old) from Korea in September 2008. We adopted our second son, Little Bro, from Korea in April 2011 at age 21 months. We adopted our third son,Little Moon, at age 3 in November 2013. I've wanted to be a mama for a long time, but I'm still trying to figure out the reality of it all and take time to enjoy the delicate beauty of the highs and the lows.

I worked full time as an editor, which I loved; but I made the bittersweet decision to stay home with my children after Little Bro came home. I'm now clumsily finding my footing in a new world of housekeeping, menu planning, budgeting, cooking, cleaning, and rainy-day activities, as well as navigating the world of IEPs, parent advocacy, and special needs education (spoiler: I suck at house work). My husband is hot and smart and quiet and loyal, and I think (know) my sons are the cutest, happiest little boys in the world.

I also struggle at times with mild depression, anxiety, post-adoption depression, my husband's constant absence due to his stressful and super time-consuming job, the challenges of helping my older son with his sometimes exhausting special needs, and our transition to a family of three little boys with just 19 and 14 months between them. I worry way too much about what people think of me, hate talking on the phone, and I am trying to trust myself more.

Oh yeah, I'm unable to give birth to children; love books, writing, traveling, and the color brown; hate to clean, cook, craft, or do laundry; allergic to pretty much everything but food (thank God); and think camping in anything but a tent is lame.

I needed somewhere to drop my daily mama thoughts and musings on toddler poop to avoid massive clutter and ramblings on our private family blog. Writing it down on paper is so '90s.

This is my everyday "blournal" as I navigate through my life as a first-time (or is it third-time now?) mama and long-time me. So....hi.

You can contact me at daily.dose.of.mama (at) gmail.com.

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As an editor, I deal with people on a regular basis who think images or content on the internet (whether it does or does not have a copyright designation) are "fair use." Your lesson for the day is that anything someone writes or creates that is published on the internet is copyright protected, whether he or she spells it out or not. Although I doubt anyone wants to steal my riveting posts on toddler poop, it doesn't hurt to educate the world about the wonderful magic of online copyright law.