I think I have become a lot more laid back in my mothering in the last few years. Once over-vigilant to the point of obsession, I'm now more apt to let my kid go ahead and eat that cracker he found under the couch....if it has dust on it, he'll spit it out. I let him plop his butt in mud....shorts can be washed, usually with the hose like the rest of his body. I let him run sans clothes (but with diaper) in our backyard...I never quite figured out why I was so opposed to that one for so long.
But I'm still struggling with one area of unwavering resolve....leaving him in the car.
When I was little, I was left in the car while my mom popped into the gas station or pizza place. I'm confident that leaving the air conditioning on would protect my son from cooking inside out while I take 2 minutes to buy a DDP and a chocolate milk on our way to a park date or drop a library book off inside the library.
Yet, I cannot do it. I tell myself as I pull into the parking lot and gather my things while leaving the car running that he will be fine in plain view for a minute or two, but at the last minute, I chicken out and turn the car off, unbuckle my kid, and drag him into the gas station. Neither one of us is super thrilled with this decision.
I'm not sure if it is because my anxiety of the horror stories you hear of babies in extreme heat gets the better of me or if I am somehow envisioning someone stealing my car and my kid, or if my phobia of a car slipping out of park and into traffic is at play, but I cannot, despite my best attempts, leave my child unattended in the car for longer than it takes to run the video into the rental drop box or return a shopping cart.
Just a small look into the inner workings of a neurotic mama-in-progress.
I can totally relate--I'm pretty neurotic, too. I have occasionally left Joel in the car in the garage while I grab something from the house, but that's it. And, someone told me that you can get arrested for leaving your child in the car unattended. That was enough to make sure I never do that (true or not)!
ReplyDeleteI am right there with you, it's an odd internal struggle when I realize I left something in the house but already have my son strapped into his car seat. Go back & let him be? Go back and take him? Or, eh, just forget about what I left behind anyway. Ususally I choose the last option - I guess I still haven't progressed past being kinda lazy *shrug*
ReplyDeleteThis post reminds me of a sort of similar topic I heard about called "free range kids." I was totally appalled, but then tried to free up my mind and figure out what appalled me about it. I'm still not sure how I feel.
I love your thought provoking posts! What's a DDP?
Birdie: I'm glad I am not the only mama who has this debate!
ReplyDeleteI'm lazy, too, but I am always motivated by DDP (Diet Dr. Pepper). It's my life-long drug of choice.
I can't leave them alone in the car either...I also can't let them play in the basement by themselves (something most people I know do) or walk next to me instead of hold my hand in parking lots or...well, so many other things. I have started letting them play upstairs if they keep the bedroom door open, so I guess there's hope one day I'll be normal.
ReplyDeleteGlad I'm not there's so many of us overprotective moms, it makes me feel less strange.
I will definitely leave the boys if the car is in my garage or my driveway and if it is running with AC. But I can't do it out in public....with the exception of a certain dry cleaner if I get a certain parking spot and basically stand holding the door open and make them bring me my clothes.
ReplyDeleteWhich brings me to another struggle I have....I would totally love to patronize mom and pop coffee shops, but always end up at Starbucks simply for the drive through option. Seriously, anything to avoid another round of buckling and unbuckling times 2.
I'm right there with you on this. I've run into the house when I've forgotten something and left X in the car (in the garage) and that doesn't even feel right. I could NEVER leave him in the car in a public place.
ReplyDeleteI'm so on the same page here. I do leave S in the car if I forget something in the house... but I can't do it anywhere else.
ReplyDeleteOnce, my printer saw me sitting in his parking lot while S snoozed away (I was not waking him!) and realized what was going on. So he came to me... even though I was probably only 50 feet from the door, I just couldn't do it!
I'm totally with you on this one...not sure why, but I can't do it either! That's great you are otherwise relaxing a bit on the motherhood neuroses (sp?)...you'd otherwise go crzay. Plus, you've got another boy coming; certain standards are just harder to uphold with two.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny, cuz what are we so worried about in the car? I think it's that he's defenseless in a car seat if ANYTHING were to happen. I feel similarly to the stroller. Though I will admit I have run back into the house with him in the garage and like Elizabeth...there is one dry cleaner where you practically park in the store where I'm ok with it.
ReplyDeleteI have been dealing with this issue for hmmmmm.. 19 years! I have never been able to do it, and it is against the law here. But I just can't understand people when they leave their children in the car unattended while they go shopping or even in to pay for gas.
ReplyDeleteNOW.. I have left Asher in the car in the drive way when I have forgotten something. I have left the kids in the car while I run in to the bank or post office. BUT, I have older children. I only do it when my 14 or 19 year old are in the car with the little kids. Not illegal with them in the car. They are at the age that is considered responsible. I leave it running and lock the doors. The older kids know how to start and turn off the ignition and can act responsibly making wise decisions.
HOWEVER normally, everyone wants to go in with me and we all stand around making a big scene! Which is ok with me.