Go to Your Happy Place

Last weekend was like a sugar high; it was that great.

The last two days have been one hell of a crash from that high.

A lot of small, not very important in the long run things have piled so high that I sat at my desk this afternoon completely numb. I didn't want to be there, and I didn't want to be home. All I wanted to do was sleep, but even then, I didn't have enough get-up-and-go to even fall asleep at my desk.

Needless to say, the idea of picking up my 2 year old to play single mom to his active self had me a bit overwhelmed. I wasn't on my A game today, and honestly, I wasn't overly interested in even mustering anything more than my C+ game. When I picked him up with a less than glowing daily report, I had no idea what my plan was after I left the parking lot. I knew I didn't want to go home, but I also didn't want to sit in a restaurant on a day with mild humidity.

So I went to the one place I knew I could count on, our local botanical gardens.

This place holds such a special place in my heart. It is the place where I claimed my right as Little Bug's mother. It's the place we've met friends and spent lovely evenings as a family. It's a place that is teaching my suburban baby to appreciate and protect nature. It's a place that Little Bug and I both equally enjoy, if in different ways.

I picked up some dinner, strapped my baby to my back because we've both been enjoying the closer contact lately, and wandered to our secret shaded spot to eat and enjoy a bluegrass concert that happened to be playing (Little Bug and I both enjoyed it so much that I bought the CD). My baby choose to sit on my lap and eat his dinner....something he rarely does. I stared at his profile as the sun gently made it glow. I accepted many a compliment on his cuteness while he waved and blew kisses to passer-byes. We both enjoyed the wonderful train garden and officially reached "regulars" status with the old men who volunteer there. I thought of my son in Korea and my husband in New York, but I found that unlike the majority of the last 2 days, I only thought about how lucky I was that they were somewhere in the world and mine, not dwelling on the fact they weren't there with me.

Mainly, I just allowed myself to be present and with Little Bug. Lots of eye contact, lots of getting down on his level, lots of allowing myself to be wrapped up safely in the little world the botanical garden gives to us.

Being a mom is hard and often makes dealing with outside stress even more stressful. I'm grateful for my happy place, and I'm grateful beyond belief for the little soul who loves to share it with me. It's happy for me because of him.