Daily Dose of Mama: Adoptivus: The Brothers Meh

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Adoptivus: The Brothers Meh

One of the things I fantasized most about was the first moment my sons would meet. Little Bug had been preparing for over a year to meet his brother, kissing his picture every night. For him, Little Bro was already a part of our lives and the whole actually being in the same country business was just a formality. Meanwhile, Little Bro was happy being an only child.

When Little Bro came sprinting through the doors in our first glimpse of him, he stopped short in the middle of our merry little group, taking us all in with equal parts interest and wary. Little Bug, on the other hand, stepped right out to meet his little brother and said loudly into his face "Hi, Little Bro." I held my breath, tears threatening as I watched what I knew would be an epic moment in all our lives. I wished like hell my camera was already out, but wasn't about to miss the fireworks to fish for it out of my bag.

Turns out there was no need. Little Bro looked once over at Little Bug and then turned back toward his foster mother and we were ushered inside. There was nothing remotely special about the moment, other than it was the moment when these two brothers first met.

A total and complete meh.

Looking back on it, maybe moments like that don't matter. I don't recall the first moment I met Appa. The boys made their moments later with jostling for cars and toys and phones and pens. Little Bug ate Little Bro's treats and Little Bro took command of Little Bug's balloons. They both tried their hardest at making a family picture impossible without flailing limbs and arching backs. Those were the moments that started their relationship, even if they weren't the first.

And honestly, none of those moments really feel like mine, either, but I wanted to get them out in some form for the LBs to have when they are older and curious as to how their lives together started.

2 comments:

kimberlyApril 8, 2012 at 10:22 AM
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Christine @ 12,450miles April 8, 2012 at 6:28 PM
As we embark on journey number two, I think a lot about how the siblings of this household will bond. It never occurred to me that it won't be instant. But reading this, I almost think this is better. Because it's all the little things that give life depth and make it that much better.
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Thanks for your daily dose of you....

Everyday Mama

I'm a 32-year-old everyday mama. My husband (Appa) and I adopted our first son Little Bug (at 10 months old) from Korea in September 2008. We adopted our second son, Little Bro, from Korea in April 2011 at age 21 months. We adopted our third son,Little Moon, at age 3 in November 2013. I've wanted to be a mama for a long time, but I'm still trying to figure out the reality of it all and take time to enjoy the delicate beauty of the highs and the lows.

I worked full time as an editor, which I loved; but I made the bittersweet decision to stay home with my children after Little Bro came home. I'm now clumsily finding my footing in a new world of housekeeping, menu planning, budgeting, cooking, cleaning, and rainy-day activities, as well as navigating the world of IEPs, parent advocacy, and special needs education (spoiler: I suck at house work). My husband is hot and smart and quiet and loyal, and I think (know) my sons are the cutest, happiest little boys in the world.

I also struggle at times with mild depression, anxiety, post-adoption depression, my husband's constant absence due to his stressful and super time-consuming job, the challenges of helping my older son with his sometimes exhausting special needs, and our transition to a family of three little boys with just 19 and 14 months between them. I worry way too much about what people think of me, hate talking on the phone, and I am trying to trust myself more.

Oh yeah, I'm unable to give birth to children; love books, writing, traveling, and the color brown; hate to clean, cook, craft, or do laundry; allergic to pretty much everything but food (thank God); and think camping in anything but a tent is lame.

I needed somewhere to drop my daily mama thoughts and musings on toddler poop to avoid massive clutter and ramblings on our private family blog. Writing it down on paper is so '90s.

This is my everyday "blournal" as I navigate through my life as a first-time (or is it third-time now?) mama and long-time me. So....hi.

You can contact me at daily.dose.of.mama (at) gmail.com.

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS COPYRIGHT PROTECTED.

As an editor, I deal with people on a regular basis who think images or content on the internet (whether it does or does not have a copyright designation) are "fair use." Your lesson for the day is that anything someone writes or creates that is published on the internet is copyright protected, whether he or she spells it out or not. Although I doubt anyone wants to steal my riveting posts on toddler poop, it doesn't hurt to educate the world about the wonderful magic of online copyright law.